Do you still have desire after you are 50? The author of "The City of Desire" reopens his life after divorce: No matter how many years old, the best support is always theirs

Editor's note: The well-known novel and TV series "City of Desire" describes the love and fashion life of New York women in the 1990s. After its launch, it has been reddened all over the world. 20 years later, the original author has entered the mature stage of her post-50s. She once faced a variety of shocks after getting divorced and middle-aged, and thus found a new lifestyle and self again, and wrote a new work that analyses the emotional life and life events of mature generations.

After creating that world full of charming friendship, love, and countless Chinese suits and high heels, Candy, the author of "City of Desire". Candace Bushnell launched a new book in 2019, "Is there still desire in the city?" 》(Is There Still Sex in the City?), discussing the beauty of women 20 years ago. After entering a mature age, they face the changes brought about by the transformation of age and life stages. The characters depicted in the book

are not the group of post-50s women from different generations. Candy quipped, "The book is full of crazy and lovely middle-aged women": single, divorced, or a couple, they recognize different sex on their dating software, or attend a joint party - many of the emotions come from the real experiences of her and her friends.

She asked such a question: If the keywords of single-body and mature women will cause anxiety, then why do women find more problems after entering the wedding ceremony and raising children?

The problem of a mature woman: How many years should I love someone I am so disagreeing?

Continuing the humorous and sharp style of "The City of Desire", Candy wrote a unique understanding of mature women in this new book about love and life's different aspects. The book is full of golden sentences that make people smile:

"Among all the big and small setbacks in the process of becoming old, the most terrifying thing is to realize that you have been forced to move from the state of pursuing love to the state of only pursuing someone to accompany you. Love means moving relationship, and the two will complete something together. . Companionship on the contrary, the two people mainly just sit there and share the same room with the other party. "

"Dating dates after a certain age are not to be together to create life. By this age, people already have their own lives—— children, ex-husband and ex-wife, parents or work—— so at this stage, the relationship between men and women is just to enrich your life. This reminds me of us20 , 30 years old, I always talked about the theory that men and women should be the frosting on your life cake, not life itself. "

Candy said that the reason why mature women are single is more complicated than when they are young, and there are more conditions to consider when looking for a partner, including "what age should I love men so that I won't be too dissatisfied", or "How broad should I put my conditions so that I won't be considered a top-notch woman."

After divorced at the age of 53, she is currently single, and she confesses generously that she will use dating software to find a date. "Although the age of your partner is limited under the system's matching mechanism, your partner's age is also limited. But I have to say that invitations from young men are more than those of my age or even older men. It seems that they don't care about appointments with older women than those of them."

With the separation of friends and family, they start a new life

Candy was 10 younger than her at the age of 43. Aged ballet dancer Charles. Charles Askegard got married and divorced 10 years later because of her husband's affair. This also prompted her to decide to leave New York and move to the suburbs to bid farewell to the past and start a new life.

She was once a writer in the magazine column and is often regarded as the "live version of Kaili". There is also a part of the love story in "City of Desire" that is her real experience. But far from the colorful metropolis, Candy's life has become simple and comfortable. Usually, she likes to cook vegetables at home, do yoga or hula hoops, and walks her dog 10,000 steps a day to maintain her figure.

{twenty three} {twenty four}

While writing this book, she also suffered from the tragedy of her father's death and her friends' tragedy. She left the city to spend this comfortable single life, which allowed her life to be organized and till the same, and to know more about what she wanted.

When she talked about the changes brought by age, she said with emotion: "When you reach a certain stage in your life, you will naturally start to slow down and spend more time with your friends; but at the same time, we may also face divorce, depression, unemployment or health problems, or loss of certain people and things, death of family, leaving children, etc.." When people reach middle age, it is difficult to encounter some confusion.

Candy said that I don't regret not having children. "For me, this is the most suitable choice. I love my life. Whether to marry or have children is a feasible choice. We just need to accept this: a certain choice is not necessarily better than another, but only the difference between whether it is suitable for ourselves."

No matter how many years old, Gunmi will always be the best companion in life

Candy also believes that since he wrote "Desire for the City" when he was over 30, his environment and surrounding areas have changed a lot.. "Women have experienced different transition periods at the age of 30 and 40. At the age of 30, we were eager to establish ourselves or have a career or family. After the age of 40, we were eager to move forward and fight in this park, but in the second half of our life of 50, women came to a place where we could focus more on ourselves ”

"I couldn't imagine what a female body would be like in the age of 50. Now I am entering such an unknown field myself, but whether it's 30 or 50, the honey is always the best support to help us through these ups and downs," she said.

"In a real life, even if you find the happiness you want, it doesn't necessarily mean that you will always have it. In order to get closer to this ideal, we need to adjust ourselves from time to time."

Not only Candy herself, but many of her friends such as Charlotte, Milanda and Shamanshan in the real world have also been single again like her, but they choose to move to the suburbs to start a new life and spend more time with themselves and the people who really matter. This happens to prove a long-lasting argument in her novel - friendship is always the biggest love story in life.

Data Provided/Salon, FashionweekDaily, Publisherweekly, MSNBC

Original text: After 50, do you still have desires? The author of "City of Desire" reopens his life after divorce: No matter how many years old, Gu Mi is always the best support